Do I let her in our bedroom for one night?

[newowner]

Hi, new to the forum but have read so much helpful stuff here, thank you!

I'm having an issue with a very scared dog today and not sure what to do with her tonight. She is supposed to sleep downstairs but last night had 3 accidents because (I think) the wind was scaring her as it's very windy. I think it's going to be as bad tonight, plus my husband is away for the first time which she won't like. I don't know whether to allow her up for comfort or if that will cause further issues when she goes back to being alone at night. 

We got our greyhound 12 weeks ago. She initially slept in our room (mainly because we heard it was better for bonding and we were worried about new greyhound + new furniture downstairs). This was for 6 weeks and we weren't sleeping brilliantly with all her wriggling. We started shutting her downstairs, putting her in her own bed and she was not overly happy but ok about it. 

She got more unhappy with us shutting her in after a couple of weeks and started trying to shoot upstairs to our room before we shut the door. 3 weeks in she managed to camp in her old spot in our room and we let her stay. The next couple of days we had barking and howling or scratching, then she seemed to settle again. About 10 days later - last weekend - we went on holiday and she slept in our hotel room for 3 nights. Since then she has been mildly destructive every night (each night she picks something like a magazine or pot plant to have a go at, we are unsure at what point in the night) and last night she was just frantic trying to escape upstairs once she thought we were getting ready for bed. She had an accident while we were brushing our teeth and she had just been shut downstairs, she had had another at 2am when I checked and another when we checked at 5am. She was also completely listless and we were a bit worried about her. I'm now sure it was all the wind noise having observed her today (although she also did a lot of wees in the garden so will keep an eye on that in case it's medical). 

For context, our separation training has been appalling as I work from home, although she has been left for up to 2 hours it is rare shes's alone and I haven't been conscientious enough with desensitising her. But she has never been destructive when alone nor has she had accidents since her first 2 weeks here. 

I really want to keep an eye on her tonight as it's still very noisy and windy and she's on edge, but I also don't want to be inconsistent and lead her to think she can sleep upstairs in future. In truth we are happy to have her in the room but not every night and we felt it wasn't fair to randomly isolate her and it would be better to insist on a routine for sleeping based on what we know of dogs and anxiety.

Sorry for the long post - any suggestions appreciated! I'm considering just sleeping downstairs but would really rather not! 

[lurcherlot]

Our lurchers aways have slept upstairs - it didn't take many nights for them to settle and sleep soundly every night. Your greyhound sounds as if she's quite distressed ... in order to have a happy dog, I would make a nice bed for her on your bedroom floor!

[newowner]

Maybe we will have to do that as it's so upsetting to see her distressed. It would just be nice to have some privacy now and then, you know as a married couple

[ragsysmum]

All our dogs, up to four at a time, have slept on their own dog beds next to ours for forty years now and I would never opt for any other situation. Mostly they have slept very quietly through the night after the first couple of nights maybe getting used to their new life. If they are ill, sick or need to go out during the night, that has been the only time they have woken us and I've always been glad about that. Couldn't do with an unhappy, crying dog or coming down to a mess or damage in the mornings. Whatever you do as a married couple, she probably won't be interested unless it involves running around the bedroom of course!!

[newowner]

Haha perhaps they get less inquisitive in time - at the moment her nose is practically in my socks as I put them on she so interested in my every movement   I have to get changed quick if I don't want a lick on the bum. I was really just concerned that it isn't fair to keep chopping and changing and a lot of dogs seem to settle if they consistently sleep alone. We were hoping once she was in the routine we could open all the doors and she could come up in the night if she wanted to - a family dog I know loves to get up every few hours and move rooms. And initially that seemed to work - initially we would shut the door until she fell asleep and then creep down to open it after an hour so she could come and find us if she was worried and she never did.

For now I am downstairs - I think I'm going to try to creep out and leave the doors open so I can guarantee she will be in my room in the end! Can't take another carpet wee though, that was the best thing about getting an adult dog - no chewing, no biting and no accidents!