More separation advice (I've read recommended posts)

[gibbs]

Hi,

We adopted Gibbs 5 days ago. He's been amazing - fully toilet trained, relaxed with loud noises, affectionate, learned stairs no problem (we are in a smallish flat on 5th floor), taking everything in his stride. However we are having separation issues (5 days left before back to work on Monday). We read the 'So you have your new hound home' and 'Okay too late we have SA' posts. Now need follow-up advice.

First couple of days we made his safe bed (folded up duvet) in kitchen, and had another bed in sitting room with us. We started separation training Day 2 with baby gate in kitchen, and stayed in flat while shutting him in kitchen alone for 5 mins. He hated it and despite tall gate we were really concerned he was going to hurt himself because he kept trying to jump over. We decided to let him have free reign of kitchen and sitting room since he chose sitting room as his main bed, was much happier there and wasn't soiling or being destructive. He seemed much better. At night he sleeps in sitting room alone (now on sofa - prefers that to his bed), and will take himself off there for long periods when we hang out in kitchen or bedroom. He is not too attached to us when we are in the flat as we don't shower him with affection. This morning I went out for 2 x 20 mins sessions an hour apart (fiance working today). He was fine, wandered about and then settled down on sofa to sleep within 2 mins. As per instructions we ignore him for first 15 mins back and have DAP diffuser. We did lunchtime walk. Then this afternoon I did 2 x 20 mins sessions again - first he did not settle and kept jumping up at front door (not ideal but don't think he can hurt himself). Last one was awful, and he started howling (never done before) and attacked his kong knots toy and buried it under carpet (we watched on dog cam). Now what? I can't see us being ready to leave him in 5 days, even though we both work 10 mins away and can come back for lunch and emergencies.

Our issues/questions:
- I don't want to go back to using baby gates to keep him in a more confined space - really concerned he will hurt himself.
- Feel like if we go to crate it could make him more anxious, especially as we didn't establish that from the start. But is it safer for him if he's going to start getting more destructive / run around? Or is another change going to be more stressful?
- How do you balance ignoring him enough with giving him some affection so he feels safe? How exactly (what times, what reasons, how often?) do you give affection?
- Don't want to cause more confusion by changing too much again. We are trying to establish consistent routine.

Any advice really welcome. We basically need emotional support - horrible to listen to your greyhound howling and crying!

Thanks.

[gvgeam]

Hi, welcome and congratulations on your new hound.

It's so good to hear you've read the advice about helping your dog settle. 5 days isn't really a long time, though, for him to have settled. I personally think it takes at least 6 months to settle (don't want to put you off!) Gibbs will still be trying to work out what you expect from him and where he fits into your household as well. You didn't say whether or not he's an ex-racer but if he is, he's also learning this to be a normal dog. 

I really think you need to keep doing what you're doing, but for the next few days I would shorten the time you leave him and do it more often. He needs to learn that you coming and going is quite normal. 
I would also introduce a crate - set one up, cover with a blanket and ignore it, don't try and force him into it. You can encourage by putting his feed in there. They are good for creating a safe space and sometimes having free rein around the house is too much for the dog. 

[ragsysmum]

I'd definitely shorten the time you leave him for alone training but do it frequently. Whenever we get a new dog I spend the first few days going in and out of the house for a couple of minutes literally every few minutes, then gradually extend by a couple more minutes at a time. They soon get tired of it all and stop taking any notice of what I'm doing and settle down to sleep.

[gibbs]

Hi,
Thanks for both of the posts - they were really reassuring, and welcomed the advice from ragsysmum to shorten the time. In the end we didn't want to distress our dog so we took advice from a trainer which has been brilliant. I found these boards really helpful early on so thought it might be helpful for others. Here is what we adjusted:
1. We went back to square one and started literally with 30 seconds out the flat. We did 2 sessions a day of 10 times 30 secs, with 1-2 minutes apart between sessions (max 5 days a week). Then we did 1 minute exits.
2. We didn't ignore him completely when we came back in - we said hello and patted him briefly (as our trainer said, ignoring him is just rude!)
3. We didn't try to crate him - he was happy in the sitting room on his bed/sofa and was not destructive
4. We built up in increments of 1 minute, increasing only every few days when we knew he could cope (i.e. when at the previous stage he could stay on bed whole time). We always watch on the camera and made sure we stay below the threshold where he becomes anxious.
5. The magic trick is to always preceed every session with a 1 minute exit. We are now at 30 minutes (after 5-6 weeks) and we still do a 1-minute exit first so he knows 'oh, it's that game again where they go, but then come back'.
6. We learnt to be patient and realised this might take a lot longer than we anticipated. We realise we need to wait a while at each level before going further. And that it's OK to drop back a bit if he even begins to look worried. We found a student who sits with him all day when we're at work and we do our practise sessions on our work from home days and weekends - it takes the pressure out of needing to be ready by a certain date and we can relax at work.
Thanks for all the great advice on this forum.

[ragsysmum]

Glad you found a good trainer who seems to have been able to help. Very short, frequent periods of leaving at first and gradually extending alone time, have always worked for mine.