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Post by vickyb on Jan 17, 2009 4:07:52 GMT -5
Someones coming to see Maddie this weekend, I spoke to him last night, sounds lovely, retired, wife works, spends most of the summer in their caravan at Seaside wants a companion as he gets lonely, loves walking. Has had dogs before but not recently.
Ok so what's the problem? Tony is beyond gutted, he has got tears in his eyes as he's gone off to walk them. I feel awful as it's me who has doubts about keeping her because of the oldies. What can I say to him? Nothing seems to convince him that there is a better home for her than ours.
Anna knew this would happen.
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Post by Princess C on Jan 17, 2009 4:15:04 GMT -5
 Firstly, big hugs for you and OH and remember, sometimes you just have to trust to fate - they may not like her/gel with her...if they do like her, she might bounce....actually, I'm not the best person to advise, because I've three failed fosters here  but other people will be better placed to reassure you that you are doing the right thing ;D
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Post by vickyb on Jan 17, 2009 4:20:39 GMT -5
If only you could ask them what they want, what would make them happiest  Tonys thinking of her I'm thinking of them, and I find 2 young girls hard work and I'm going to be off my feet for a good while, timing eh  |
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Post by Charley on Jan 17, 2009 4:27:56 GMT -5
Loads of 's for you. I cried for 3 days when my Paddy went to his home. He had been with us for 6 weeks since he was 8 weeks old. 3 weeks later he bounced and has been here ever since. It is so hard which is why I can't foster any more. It maybe that things aren't right with this person or she bounces but if she is meant to stay with you than she will. |
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Post by vickyb on Jan 17, 2009 5:25:10 GMT -5
I can't remember feeling as bad as this since the day 5yrs ago when we left Mark in this foul, dirty, tiny, cell like room in Newcastle to start uni and we both cried the 2hr journey home. We came so close to turning round. He was so unhappy but at least he could come home. |
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Post by dominique on Jan 17, 2009 5:48:05 GMT -5
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Post by helen7 on Jan 17, 2009 6:36:35 GMT -5
Vicky, if it's you who's spoken to this gent then I'm not surprised your oh is feeling unsure about it all. I've found when we've let fosters go, that many of my feelings have been dispelled once the new family has come to our house and met the hound. Sometimes we go for a walk too. I've felt relieved and that actually it is right that they move on and they'll have a lovely life with their new family. I think only meeting this man will help with that. Tony can then talk to him and chat about the life that Maddie will have. Tony will see for himself the joy that Maddie will bring this man. That's not to say you won't be sad or even cry but it helps to meet people and have a cuppa with them and chat |
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Post by Palm on Jan 17, 2009 6:39:54 GMT -5
aww vicky. (((hugs))).
i cant think of anything constructive to say.....but i believe in fate too so like alisa i say let him come and meet her and see what happens. you will know if its really not right. xx
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Post by Jane and Sara on Jan 17, 2009 6:51:04 GMT -5
Hugs to you, I would be a useless fosterer! Having to take my late friend Charles's greyhound back to the kennels a couple of weeks ago is still upsetting me - even though I KNOW I can't afford another dog and I KNOW she wouldn't really be happy as a fifth dog, I still keep wondering!
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Post by Carol 47 on Jan 17, 2009 7:03:45 GMT -5
Vicky, both me and my OH fell in love with our foster Bryn ,and I sobbed when he went off to what I believed was his forever home,as for a puppy he was perfect.The people were lovely and I knew they could, I believed give him far more than we could. Amazingly he wasnt right for them and when he came back to us ,Bless him ,we knew he wasnt going to go anywhere ,he was Home ;D. When you see them, truly , you will be reassured that they can offer Maddie a really loving forever home, and, as you hear how she is getting on in the future, you will know that you did the right thing for her. If it is not meant to be, then as others have said she will bounce and she will come back, if she dosnt then, she has found the perfect home for her with this lovely couple. Since then, I have amazingly let the other 2 of my fosters go,and although I was upset for a bit, I got over it and walked on ,purely because, when I met the adopted parents I just knew they were perfect and, had the same love as I had for them. It is so lovely to hear as time goes on how well they are doing, and ,seeing up to date photos of them enjoying life to the max and being so deeply loved to ,and, all that, just keeps confirming to you that you made the right choice. Take care ,and love and sent to you and your OH at this time. Carol xxx |
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Post by elmuervo on Jan 17, 2009 7:29:04 GMT -5
What a quandary. I'm full of admiration for all of you fosterers ;D ;D Jo x |
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Post by vickyb on Jan 18, 2009 10:27:58 GMT -5
Well, they've been and seemed lovely ;D She is exactly what they want and they are thinking of getting another dog to keep her company, not greyhound, probably a med sized like our Trix which would be great. Rescue will now arrange homecheck, they asked if I would like to do it but mixed feelings.
She snuggled up to them on the sofa but when we went for a walk she kept looking back to see if I was there, I assume this is normal?
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Post by helen7 on Jan 18, 2009 13:36:08 GMT -5
Well, they've been and seemed lovely ;D She is exactly what they want and they are thinking of getting another dog to keep her company, not greyhound, probably a med sized like our Trix which would be great. Rescue will now arrange homecheck, they asked if I would like to do it but mixed feelings. She snuggled up to them on the sofa but when we went for a walk she kept looking back to see if I was there, I assume this is normal? I think that's normal. It happened to me with Ben who was here for about 13 weeks before he went. He took a little while to get used to his new routine with his new family but was having a ball very quickly and loved his new family/life. It's hard to watch though and I was very wibbly over Ben but I also think there's probably a tendency to put human emotions on the dogs although I know they do feel anxiety etc. Sounds like you're doing well though and good luck for the next bit |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2009 6:40:06 GMT -5
Well, they've been and seemed lovely ;D She is exactly what they want and they are thinking of getting another dog to keep her company, not greyhound, probably a med sized like our Trix which would be great. Rescue will now arrange homecheck, they asked if I would like to do it but mixed feelings. She snuggled up to them on the sofa but when we went for a walk she kept looking back to see if I was there, I assume this is normal? I think that it's the thought of them leaving you to go & live with strangers that is worse than the reality. I think that once you have met the family, you see the dog is happy with the family, you get a good home check & the rescue are happy then the reality of letting them go becomes not as bad as you originally feared. It doesn't mean that you won't be upset because you will, that's only natural after all you have put so much time & effort into getting her to where she is now, preparing her for a new life. When you see that they are happy & settled in their new home you will feel very happy & proud as you were a big part in making that happen.... and if you feel like you can go through it again you can help another poor soul ;D |
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