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Post by sibs on Aug 18, 2014 10:02:13 GMT -5
Since Lace died, Max has been very subdued. He is definitely more clingy with me and seems to have reverted a bit to his fearfulness of people and OH in particular eg if OH sneezes loudly Max will startle and sometimes run out the room but has also done it with me. I am guessing that he feels things have changed and is uncertain. The morning walk he seems the same but in the last year or so I was walking Max on his own and we were socializing with other dogs and owners so no change. The primary changes are in the house. I am trying to stick to usual routines and have given him rescue remedy. The only other thing of note is a month before we let Lace go Max had surgery to remove some warts on his eyelid and had to stay overnight as he was very knocked out from the postop sedation. Max is 10/12 years and has always been a serious boy and has slowed up quite a bit but I am surprised how much he has been affected..... I didn't expect his fearfulness to resurface at home. He and Lace never cuddled (more because he resisted close contact) but they trusted each other and had a whole lot of little rituals they shared. Swopping bowls, changing beds racing each other to the end of the garden in case they might surprise a cat  Has anybody else had a hound similarly affected and how did you deal with it. |
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Post by kamkay on Aug 18, 2014 11:10:18 GMT -5
I hope Cath (greybeard) will share her experiences with you
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Post by Ted on Aug 18, 2014 12:59:45 GMT -5
Merlin hates vets ever since he saw Missy, who always considered as his Mum, go into the vets and never come back out after she was found to have bone cancer after her left supportive leg femur broke right at the ball hip joint, her right leg was not supportive as it had the hock broken in a racing accident. She and Merlin use to play together with Missy laying in wait to jump out at Merlin. She was only 12 & 1/2 years old and I had rehomed her in 2007 a couple of months before I rehomed Merlin, so I ended up only having her for 4 & 1/2 years.
I have three other Hounds , two of whom are ex-racing Greyhounds, but Merlin has never bonded with these two Greyhounds, he can't understand what has happened to his other mate Menta as she keeps bumping into him and no longer able to lay in wait for him at the Riverside Park as I have to keep Menta on the lead for her safety.
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Post by lurcherlot on Aug 18, 2014 13:15:07 GMT -5
I wonder if Max would recover more quickly and be confident again with another companion? It often seems to be the case that some dogs really can't cope with being the only dog in the household.
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Post by julies on Aug 18, 2014 15:09:25 GMT -5
I wasn't sure how Lucy was coping after Charlie went in 6 days -we were both shell shocked so I just carried on and did the same walks, etc etc She seemed ok but then Ffionn joined us and she definitely became livelier and happier I guess ... not sure if she's always pleased he's here but it did help her  J xx |
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Post by greybeard on Aug 18, 2014 16:15:06 GMT -5
Hi Sibs - thanks to Kay pushing me,I'm trying to post.Perhaps if you go back to Dogtalk and trawl through late Jan posts(unless some one less a technophobe can post a link - think it was Kizzie around Jan 25th).That really summed up how we felt about our girlie - and it still hurts.Ok - we lost our Setter X and Chris at 1st refused to have another dog cos it hurt too much,gave in cos I couldn't cope without a dog.Chris had already done some research on greys and thought they might be ideal.Whatever - went to a rescue,spotted a lovely grey but what riveted my attention was the other hound she was with.Supposedly grey X,1/2 sister etc but to me predominately Saluki.She was so pretty.Initially seemed to take to me more than Chris - we were smitten,home check fine,so had 2 houndies.And it was a bogoff - they couldn't be separated cos they were so bonded.So they came home - but we had problems.We thought it was us - not blaming the rescue cos the police had said it was a cruelty case and no details could be given- only it might have been helpful if the rescue could have said they'd been abused.It would have made sense - that when we despaired,it wasn't us - just Kizzie had had the worst of it.She was so scared of people -would just run and hide in her safe place.Then she lost her sister - it was horrible,all she did was look for her - to the point of exhaustion.Homeopathic remedies took the edge off but not happy.And we never got over if she saw a anything resembling a fawn grey - it was always Tillie,and she was always disappointed.We already belonged to Gap- posted,and they suggested another sighthound,cos we all know they're happy with their own kind.So
we adopted Perry- not the same relationship, but had a companion she was happy with.Thanks to Gap,she did make progress,was gradually more happy on meet and greets etc.A lot was just letting Kiz be herself - and our local Gappers understood that.Perhaps Max needs a friend - it really was a lifeline for Kiz- even though she didn't appreciate it at 1st. There was never the closness that Kiz and Tillie had. It was more like an old married couple rubbing along.-Cath.
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Post by sassbu on Aug 18, 2014 16:22:58 GMT -5
No advice but it must be heartbreaking for you to see him feeling vulnerable, hope it's not too long before he finds his feet again  |
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Post by sharonhigh45 on Aug 19, 2014 1:55:58 GMT -5
When we lost Leah our lurcher last year we decided to get another friend for our old staffie X straightaway, within two weeks and am so pleased we made that decision as Moss our young lurcher has kept the old girl going, it is a big decision but one to think about,xx
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Post by Milothemonster on Aug 19, 2014 4:15:04 GMT -5
Milo and Herbie were so very close , almost joined at the hip. They would curl up together and complemented each other very well. Both fulfilled a role and in these roles both recieved comfort and confidence. Herbie was the follower and was quite happy to have Milo be boss , to look out for him , to follow his example etc. Herbie could be nervous in certain situations, Milo gave him confidence to cope with them as he would test the waters and go first etc. Milo enjoyed his role as leader of Herbie and class policeman. Milo isnt really a super confident dog ie not true pack leader material.. that was Skye's role, but he relished being second in command, to be total leader would have put too much pressure on him etc. So he loved bossing Herbie but also looking out for him. When Herbie died, Milo was devastated like the rest of us. He not only lost his close companion, he lost his role in the pack, he lost his job. He grieved terribly and for three weeks he hardly ate at all and lost weight. I took him to the vets and they said sometimes dog do grieve in this way and to keep him busy and give him time. But Milo looked so miserable, he lacked interest in going out and moped about when he did go on walks, he had no one to make him feel confident you see and he was now bottom of the pack. Maybe Max is also feeling this, he's kind of lost his way and doesnt know his pack status any more. We looked after my friend's dog for a week whilst she went on holiday. The difference in Milo was startling. He loved having this dog with us, she was submissive to him like Herbie and Milo soon realised he had his role back. So he loved running with her on walks and leading her everywhere, and more importantly he began to eat again. So we knew that even though it was so very hard to do , we needed to look at getting another dog to join the pack. We also hoped that taking another rescue and giving it a home would also help us too, help us to concentrate on its needs and give us a focus again. We knew we were taking a risk as any new dog would not be Herbie and Milo might not take to the new dog, so we took on Flynn a youngster , and although I cant say yet whether Milo and him will share the same bond that the Twit Twins developed, Milo has relished having a role again. He is class policeman once more and he enjoys keeping Flynn in his place, so he has a purpose again. Taking on any new dog is a big decision and only you can decide that one, but having another dog in the pack has helped Milo again. I hope you find an answer that suits both you and Max. |
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Post by deborahburt on Aug 19, 2014 6:32:41 GMT -5
I'm not sure whether Jimmy is acting the way he is because he misses Cas or because he's loosing his marbles. He will go to the front door and stand there whining and then lie down whining. Now is this because Cas left through the front door and never came home again or is he loosing it and thinks I've gone upstairs because that is what he does when I go up the dreaded stairs. |
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Post by sharonhigh45 on Aug 19, 2014 10:58:58 GMT -5
Sadly we cannot read their dog minds but perhaps he is missing Cas, it is sad.
Shazx
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Post by greybeard on Aug 19, 2014 12:49:21 GMT -5
Keep thinking about this - yes they do grieve.Thinking about it Bengie terror dog( who I rescued as a puppy) really missed our 1st dog Blue.Bengie was really hyperactive at 1st - Blue soon put him in his place and Bengie adored him,we usually found them snuggled up together.There were similarties with Kizzie - apathetic,loss of appetite etc.We made the mistake of adopting Billie - in those days nothing like GAP does.Met on neutral ground and seemed OK - but in the house hated each other.Plus side - Bengie had a new interest in life,get rid of the intuder.Downside they always had to be seperated - but Billie was our youngest son's heart dog and we hated to seperate them.Billie was happy - had his own walks and found out later,when the boys were older that he was well known round the local pubs.Kizzie had so many demons,that we tried to overcome.She was basically scared of the whole, big ,nasty world she knew - trying to show her that love can make a difference,that the world isn't always like that was an uphill stuggle.I hope we succeded,we loved her so much - but she never got over losing Tillie.Perry gave her a new lease of life - and for an older hound,with so many problems she made so much progress.If you can do it,perhaps adopt a friend for Max.We were left in a dillema - wedding with no-one( initially)to look after Perry and Chris suppossedly needing spinal surgery.Wedding accomplished and no further consultant appointment for Chris - probably pissed him off cos he couldn't commit to short notice surgery.It could have meant meaning missing youngest son's wedding.And now - I doen't think Perry's grieving but I do think he misses a companion - Cath
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Post by sibs on Aug 20, 2014 1:23:44 GMT -5
Thank you all so much. I am minded to get another hound but want to wait as we have had a family of meece chew our electrics so are in the process of having to get rewiring done. Fortunately I have found a lovely lady spark who is a dog lover and used to own a Greyhound.
I think the upsetting thing is that the one thing that I am sure all of us want is for our dogs to feel secure at home and at the moment Max is uncertain. I know OH covers up but he loves Max and seeing Max flinch or runaway is hard for him. I do keep saying not to take it personally. Last night Max laid on the sofa with OH so I think we are making progress. When I have lost a dog before the remaining dog has been a bit confused but being more human dependent was less upset.
Cath, Max sounds very much like Kizzie. Humans can be really brutal to other humans and animals can't they?
I am going to see if I can arrange for one of his dog friends to spend the day with us and we have the east herts walk to look forward to arranged by Bonniesmum.
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Post by gilli176 on Aug 20, 2014 3:20:31 GMT -5
I do think dogs do grieve in their own way when their companion dies. My parents had to have their German shepherd put to sleep not too long ago and their other dog became quiet, withdrawn and off her food, I would say she was depressed. However candy is a well adjusted dog they've had her since she was a puppy so she has no anxiety issues,and she got over the loss of her mate without the need for another dog. It is different but Erin misses the foster dogs when they go her behaviour changes and she sulks, but she gets over it as it's not the same as your situation, she's normally the one that gives the other dog confidence not the other way round.
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Post by sibs on Sept 11, 2014 11:59:46 GMT -5
I thought I would just update you all. I had Marley (cockerpoo)and his friend Toby (snauzer)round for the day a week ago. The nicest and easiest of dogs they are and Max has had many happy morning walks with them. Max had a bit of a grump with Toby and then went upstairs to keep OH company and I was left to entertain the guests. However he was much more engaged when we all went for an afternoon walk.
Last Sat we went on a lurcher walk and Max was very happy to pootle along with Honey(a GG girl belonging to the DADIS}. I am still amazed at how much Max depended on Lace for confidence ie if there was some human noise or action he would look at Lace and if she wasn't bothered he would relax. I realize how little I know about dog to dog interactions. Certainly for Max I think he trusts other dogs more than humans even me. I still miss my darling girl dreadfully.
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